Punch Drunk – 1 More Round 1 Last Shot.

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Munka Media ® in association with BOAD ® productions is proud to present “Home Coming”

In conjunction with P.D.F.N.A and sponsored by “Wibbly Wobbly Drinks”

First there was Hatton Mayweather “Undefeated” then Calzaghe v Hopkins “Battle of the planet” now the ultimate square up. Fighting to become the undisputed ‘TL’ the challenger hailing from LA1 and boasting both a height and reach advantage TLS and out of retirement the former champ and one half of the world famous “Sandwich” tag team TLA

Also on the under card the best ¼ pounder for pound mucher in the game Craig “the burger” Jones

The contest will be fought over a number of rounds with three judges in attendance to score the bout all shots will be counted.

Recently a BOAD had this to say about the match

“Both girls are technically knockouts. I expect when it comes to scoring the judges would happily give them both one.”

 Fight Odds

Anna – she’s been walkabout for a while now but looked back to her best last weekend 6/9 on

Stacey – Expect the “usual” performance from the girl who only recently turn 21          6/9 on

Quote – unquote (actual recent quotes)

This will not be a two o’clock in the morning fight – this will be timed for the fans – it’s going to be a great nightÂ

Ricky Hatton )

 ”There’s not going to be any (fight in) 2009, no fights past December.  go out like a champion.”

Oscar De La Hoya

A word from our sponsor -

Wibbly Wobbly Drinks – the shot that gives you a mandatory “standing eight-count” then applies the three knockdown rule.

Please drink responsibly don’t spill any.

Oh Sit Down,Oh Sit Down, Dont Sit Down Next To Me!!

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Tuesday afternoon saw 4 of the BOAD off on an overnighter to Blackpool.
This wasn’t just a spur of the moment piss up…we’d booked tickets to see James on tour.

We all booked tuesday afternoon and all day wednesday off from work.
so come 12:30 we were out of the door like whippets….
A quick wash and wipe and we were on the road to blackpool.
aftert a bit of “inventive” driving we arrived at the B&B…the Marston House

We got a pretty good deal there…£21 each per night, right close to town and a reet good breakfast in the morning (more about that later!!)

We dumped our bags, put our “night out” clothes on and we were on the way to the 1st bar.

We did 4 or 5 bars, drinking a pint of stella in each….Whilst we were all still semi with it i decided to pass on the burden of responsibility to each of the BOAD…..i.e. i said “here’s your tickets lads…its up to yourself’s to get into the gig now….”

Time was getting on abit by now, Lj wanted to watch the support act so he made his way on his own upto the gig.

The rest of us stopped off at KFC for a quick burger then followed onto the winter gardens.

As we turned the corner to the winter gardens, we could see LJ just stood on the corner of the street.

When we got upto him he said…”They’ve nicked me ticket…I cant get in unless I’m with you lot”

At this point its fair to say that none of us were sober……we all headed towards the entrance, where 2 bouncers were checking tickets…..We questioned them as to why LJ couldnt get in and they said…he hasn’t got a ticket….

A bit of banter followed and with a short apology of ” sorry mate….just cause your to numb to lose your ticket doesn’t mean that we’re all gonna miss the gig” ..we left LJ at the door.

It may seem a little harsh, but as i said earlier…each of us had the same responsibility when it came down to the tickets.

We didn;t totally abandon him…a few minutes later we went out for a fag and tried calling LJ 4 times to tell him that the touts were selling tickets for £25 a piece reet outside the door..

Each phone call was answered with a drunken mumbling, and then a hang up!…so feeling we’d done as much as we could we went back into the gig.

Because we’d had a bit of overtime in the pubs, the support band had been and gone…but anyway…we’d come to see James… not them.

We went to the bar and all got a half pint of coke and ice…this may seem out of the ordinary for us lot….but we did all half our hip flask on us…full of vodka and whiskey…

A few sips into the drink and James arrived on the stage….the tunes started and as we were all abit pissed we started bouncing around to the old favourites….

Dancing with half a pint of vodka and coke in your hand takes some skill…..a skill that the BOAD dont have!!

Me and clivey boy downed our drinks and bounced off towards the stage…

With every song we pushed and shoved and got nearer and nearer to the front…A few songs in and we were 2 people back from the barrier.

We settled there for a while, bouncing away and singing our heads off….then Tim Booth, the singer, came down and stood on top of the barrier whilst he was singing…seeing this and with a final couple of shoves…we were right at the front….(ahh, memories of the arctic monkeys at the morecambe super dome!!)

We were so close to him that I was able to slap him on his shoulder whilst he was singing…

The tunes and the bouncing continued and then the set and the encore was over…..sadly they didnt play the BOAD anthem (Getting Away With It (All Messed up ))   but there’s always next time!!

as the ballroom started to empty we collected ourselves together and started to amble towards the exit.

As we’d been “going for it” big time, my shirt was absolutely soaked, both from the beer that kept getting thrown over the top of us, and from basic man sweat!

We got out of the ballroom, Waa and clive headed to the pub for a beer, whilst i headed back to the B&B for a quick change….

When i got to our room i looked over at the beds and saw the duvet had been taken off the bed and just thrown in a heap in the middle of the bed….on closer inspection, i found that LJ was under said duvet.

I changed my shirt and woke LJ up and convinced him to come out for another beer.

We met up with Waa and Clive in the pre-agreed bar, where Waa still had a full pint (was struggling with the volume by now) and clive was chatting to a couple of lads that he apparently knew from his college days…

After a few minutes in the bar, we all decided that we were fooked and that Bed was a good idea….

The boy clive insisted on staying and talking to his old school pals, so we left him and headed back to the digs.

As we approached our B&B, some little chav biatch was sticking her head out of a skylight giving all the passer bys a mouth ful…a few comments were made, such as “uw pet…how did you manage to get your fat head through that skylight”…..and “shut it fatty”…..

A bit of banter follwed, her skinny chav came out shouted something then left…

Everybody retired to bed, with our alarm clocks set for 9am, for the brekky poos….

Alarm went off and we knocked each other up to make sure none of us missed the breakfast….we did a quick head count and it turned out to be 1 short…..the boy clive hadn’t made it back….

Last time we’d seen Clive was in a seedy bar, talking to 2 blokes…….so we feared the worst.

The Waa gave him a call and was answered by a very rough sounding Clive…..

He didn;t know where he was…only that he was lying in a bunk bed somewhere (at this point we weren’t sure if that was code for something else!!)

Waa gave him the name and directions to the B&B so that he could find his way back…..

We went downstairs for breakfast…Me and Waa tucked into ours, LJ had one bite of a sausage and couldn’t face anymore. We chatted to the Landlady and found out that LJ had come back the night before wanting food, he’d already been literally chucked out of a fast food place round the corner. The land lady had felt sorry for him and had cooked him burger and chips, before her daughter had put him to bed (or should that be, marched him upstairs and thrown him into his room)

With our breakfast chinned, we shared out LJ’s plate between me and waa, and promptly chinned that too……

Then Clive wobbled in…..he ordered his breakfast and sat down, and started chomping away…

It was at this point that LJ asked for the key to the room…..

As i handed him the key, he started to wretch…….by now we could all tell that he was in trouble…

He made a cup out of his hands and promptly filled this with the partial contents of his stomach…..water and orange juice….

With no toilet or sink in near enough proximity, and with another wretch on the way, he emptied his hands into the nearest vessel….and empty glass…..

He wasn’t done yet though…..he started to wretch again….and this time he was in need of a bigger receptacle….

He grabbed the jug that had earlier contained the orange juice that we were about to see again…..

Half way through the event, clivey uttered the following “could you not go and do that in the toilets, im trying to eat my breakfast here!!”  – clive was indeed trying to eat his breakfast…he hadn’t stopped eating all the way through LJ’s vomiting…..even though he was sat right next to him…

I did manage to film some of this….be warned…its not for the faint hearted, or for those that are currently eating… Watch it here

Anyway…he eventually cleaned up, clivey finished his breakfast and we headed back home……

Conclusion was…the concert was one of the best i’d seen…..only just behind the Arctic Monkeys gig i saw at the dome….I think if James had played a smaller venue then it would have been neck and neck….

Roll on the Next BOAD Road Trip!!

Wibby Wobbly

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With it being Thursday neet last night (old new BOAD neet owt)…Obviously a few of the BOAD were out for a “couple of drinks”…..

Whilst at BOAD HQ (mood bar lancaster) our drinking skills were called upon to road test the new line of cocktails that are soon to be on offer to the general public…Obviously being BOAD we couldn’t resfuse the offer of free alcohol….they all went down a treat!

I would love to be able to regale you with witty banter and amusing stories about last nights events, but unfortunately i can’t.

To explain this i have only two words…….”wibbly wobbly”….

Last thing i remember is standing at the bar in bentleys…..lighting four wibbly wobbly’s with my cigarette lighter and then all of us downing them with a straw…..

Next thing i know…..my alarm is screaming at me and its time to goto work again…..

Damn You Danny Boy…!

Winner, Winner, Chicken (Curry) Dinner!

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Just a short blog today….

4 of the BOAD went on a mini mid weeker last night.

We set out to achieve 3 main goals…..

Mission 1 – Have a sit doon Curry

Mission 2 – Drink Alcohol

Mission 3 – Watch the Movie “21

I’m pleased to report that all 3 were accomplished

We met in BOAD HQ (mood bar lancaster) at around 7:15. We had a quick drink then we were off to the Litter Tray (litten tree) for a quick meal, as it was curry club night.

We bought our cinema tickets on the way round so we wouldn’t have to queue later on.  Once in the litten tree we tried to place our order…..with a bit of Bravado and egging on we all tried to order the hottest curry they had on offer….Beef Vindalo. (thankfully phall wasn’t on the menu)

Now this was the pubs Curry night……As the BOAD know, the litten tree is a bit shit….(and a bit scary when its full of its regulars, mosty overweight 40+ year old women…)Â

When we placed our order we were told that they only had 1 of each of 3 flavours of curry….i really thought that they would of stocked up on one or two more currys than that….it is their curry night afterall…..not a big surprise if people are going to come in and order currys is it…!

The time was now 8:05….the film started at 8:30…so we were pretty confident that they could microwave our curry and we could eat it and be gone within 25 minutes.

The BOAD commented on the limited menu, and asked if one of the staff could not pop down to iceland and pick up some more varied flavours….How can i put this politely……..the barman was a thick C*NT!! (and that is polite!!)  the witty banter went straight over his head…

We ordered from our limited menu and took a seat with our pints….we drank and waited….8:15 flew past…..we drank and waited somemore…..8:25 came and went …..still no sign of even a popadom….

Finally at 8:35 our currys arrived…..

With the trailers for the film already rolling, we chinned our currys in record time and we were off round the corner to watch the flick….

We got in the cinema and found some reasonable placed seats just as the last couple of trailers were playing….

Minutes into the film GP nipped off to buy 2 cokes (he came back looking quite pale….£5.25 for 2 medium cokes!!!!!)

Now don’t get the wrong idea…the BOAD hadn’t gone soft…..2 of the attending had brought their hip flasks with them….

The film played and i must say…it was ok….

Reports from Munka who has read “bringing down the house”, the book that the film is based on, informed us that the film was only loosely based on the story….but thats hollywood for you!

With the film over it was time for a few drinks…

We headed off Fibbers….While me and Low jack finsihed off our smokes, GP nipped into the toilets to relieve himself.

We met at the bar….the barman said “What do you want?”….As the bar was empty, apart from a couple of stegasaursis, he got a reply along the lines of “I Want to Leave”….

We headed for the mood only to find a Queue…..As the BOAD don’t do queues…..we headed for the Walkabout…

We had a drink in there then decided to try the mood again……still a fooking queue….

We decided to try LA1…if only to gaze at “T.L.S” (the lovely stacey)…but alas our attempts were in vain..that place was shut too!

3rd time lucky perhaps?….off we went..back to the mood . within a couple of minutes the bar manager Becky had spotted us and we were in…A quick round of the usual’s and we were once again ready for “the next Bar”.

With our pub options being about as limited as the litten tree’s curry menu, we opted to pay a visit to the Lounge…

Lounge was dead too…one good point though…..4 usuals (large vodka and redbull) only cost 8 quid…..

We chinned those and had a bit of banter, then decided to see where else was open…it was around half past midnight now…we wandered through town to find that no where else was open….even BOAD HQ was shut!!!

So, with our thirst for more beer unsatisfied…we decided to call it a night.

Lancaster 1 – BOAD 0

All in all it was quite a good night….not like the usual BOAD neet owt….but good none the less

“Buns Of Steel!”

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Good lad that Craig in Mood bar.

Always happy to serve the BOAD first at the bar and happy to volley a conversation or two about the general sh*t that is spouted on a neet owt in Lancastfert.

However ……, knowing someone, but then again, not knowing them well enough can get you in a little trouble as was the case one drunken state that the Waa found himself while frequenting a dirty mid week session in the Toast.

I knew Craig was making an appearance in the Toast as this was informed to us as we sunk an unusually horrible shot while the Mood bar was shutting up shop.

And there he was, later on in the Toast, in what was a very crowded R n B section of this overpriced watering hole.

So being the type of chap who likes a crack (no pun intended), over I wondered and grabbed both his butt cheeks from behind !

Obviously, Craig turned around promptly to which he was greeted with my big pouting lips as follow though to the butt clench motion and to add to Craig’s humiliation.

This is where Craig had the last laugh !

This wasn’t Craig …….. it was a random geezer who just happened to look like Craig from behind.

FUCK ………… !

Now, I know ………… you’re wondering ……… what did this guy say ? What did he do ?

FUCK ………… he fucking smiled at me ! FUCK !

Jog On….

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Another BOAD sized school night drinking session again last night. One point of comedy last night was in the BOAD HQ (mood bar Lancaster) Last orders had been called, and one of the Students that knows one of the bar staff took it upon himself to help collect the glasses and try and get rid of the general public from the bar. When this young fool approached the BOAD, he politely asked us to drink up and leave the establishment.Â

To which we replied….”That’s ok mate, we know the staff here” He then offered “that’s all well and good but the management want everybody out” The Boad replied “What….Chris wants us out? That’s ok mate…we know him too…” He then stated “No…Chris has gone home…his boss wants you out”Â

By now this was starting to become tiresome…. The BOAD then replied “What….Becky wants us out? That’s ok mate…we know her too…” He replied “Errr…yeah, that’s her…you’ll all have to leave” Now they say actions speak louder than words…..this was proved by what happened next..Â

The boy Clive had finished his drink…….without turning his head, or making eye contact…he raised his empty glass to the young lad and slightly tilted his head back in a gesture that said……just take the empties away and stop bothering us.   The youngster then scuttled off to tell Craig, (BOAD friendly mood bar staff) what had occurred and to seek some authority and backup to try and make us leave…. Craig just looked at the lad as though he was a stamp licker and said….”nah mate – they’re all right…they spend about 400 quid a week in here”Â

Following that, and possibly just to rub salt into the wound, the BOAD ordered another round of shots, which we drank and then left at our own leisure  Â