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P.D.F.N.A

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Pay Day Friday Night Amnesia…..

Once again it’s that time of the month…..Pay Day Friday.

Now the BOAD usualy “Go For It” each and every Friday, but there is always something special on pay day Friday….that little bit extra….

One BOAD that will remain un-named for the time being was moaning that we always do the same bars each week.

There is a reason for this….we’ve already done the other bars and found them to be below BOAD standards.

So to keep the BOAD happy we decided to do another of our famous bar crawls.

A bit different to the last lucky dip bar crawl we did.

We drew the route up and found that there were 18 pubs/drinks on the route. so we decided to make it a golf theme.

We’re not gonna dress up in golf outfits or anything like that, but each pub will have a specified drink and a “par”

For example, we’re starting off in the walkabout with a pint of stella. As its the first bar and we’ll have to wait for everybody to arrive, this will be a par 7….i.e. you have to drink your pint of stella in 7 gulps.

Also – Whenever the “Round Buyer” shouts “FORE!” the last to duck and touch the floor will be liable to a shot of sambuca.

AnyWho….here’s the list

Walkabout – Pint of stella – Par 7
Mood – Treble Vodka And Lemonade – Par 5
Friary – Bottle of beer – Par 5
Lord Ashton – Double with mixer – par 4
Green Ayre – Double Vodka & Redbull Par 5
Last Orders – Bottle / double and mixer – Par 4
Mint – A Cocktail – Par 2
The Pub – A Pint of Stella – Par 5
Robert Gillows – A double with Mixer and a flavoured Sambuca shooter – Par 5
John O Gaunt – A Bottle of beer – Par 4
Fibbers – Double with Mixer – Par 4
Mood – Bucket of WKD – Par 6
Penny Bank – Double with Mixer – Par 4
Brown Cow – Double with Mixer – Par 3
La1 – Double with mixer – Par 5
Varsity – Bottle of alco-pop – Par 4
Horse and Flute – Double with Mixer – Par 4
Bentleys – Double Vodka & Cranberry – Par 5
And the Map of the route

boad-route.jpg<<CLICK HERE TO SEE MAP OF ROUTE>>

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Reports will follow tomorrow if we survive!

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F.N.A Say It, Do It, Mean It….Just Don’t Remember It

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Once again F.N.A (Friday Night Amnesia) Lived upto its name

A good turn out from The BOAD for a change. And in true BOAD style we were drinking the new usuals (Treble Vodka and Lemonade) again in BOAD HQ (mood bar Lancaster)

Like the saying goes….F.N.A – If you remember it, you weren’t there…..

So unfortunately there isn’t a right lot to report….or should i say, i can’t remember much to report…

However, there are a couple of things that need to be recorded for posterity

The names of the BOAD members involved will be excluded to protect the innocent.

1) 1 member of the BOAD was ejected from BOAD HQ for being too drunk

2) 1 member of the BOAD gave a graphic report about a medical procedure that he had endured.

The procedure involved a camera being put where a camera should not be put

3) 1 member of the BOAD pulled an “ungradeable toot” (again…d’oh!!)

Standard BOAD protection was used.(i.e. don’t give your real name) When said toot asked what the BOAD’s name was, the reply given was.

“I AM A BOAD, MY NAME IS ANDY CANNON”

As we were all drinking treble vodkas, I’m sure that there were more interesting incidents, but i just can’t recall any at the moment.

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Oh Well…..roll on next F.N.A

The Usual Suspects

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BOAD neet rolled round again so a couple of us ventured out to keep the Bars in Lancaster ticking over.

I thought we were going to have a pretty quiet night out. We had a nice gentle start, a couple of bottles of beer.

Then we went to BOAD HQ (mood bar Lancaster) and thats where it all started to go wrong.

“What do you want to drink?” Munka asked.

“Large Vodka and Lemonade” I replied.

“How Large?” He added

“Same size as your having” I said..

Normally I would just have said “The Usual”, but as the BOAD have pulled out of the Red Bull Sponsorship deal, the Usual is no Longer The Usual.

Last week we changed the “BOAD Usual Drink” from a double vodka and redbull to a treble vodka and lemonade. Less sugar…more vodka….

So…we ended up with trebles.  It was around this point that T.B.C (The Boy Clive) arrived. He’d been working until 10pm so was a few drinks behind and had to start playing catch up….which meant he had to go onto the new Usual Drink straight away.

When we had initially walked into the bar, there were literally more bar staff than customers.  Chris, the manager, came over and said “I hope you lot are gonna spend some good money over the bar tonight, its dead…..where are all the people?”

The BOAD commented back something like “Leave it with us and we’ll see what we can do”

It’s all in the……………………………..timing….

5 minutes later saw the first entourage of girls arrive, followed minutes later by another busty group walking trough the door.

Within 15 minutes of our conversation the bar had a good 50 people in it, and the ratio was good. Probably something like 3 girls to every bloke.

Half way though the night, one of the girls that usually hands out flyers in town arrived. She was with one or two friend.

Munka, trying to look cool, took a shot of Sambuca over to her….unfortunately for his ego, she wouldn’t accept it.  tut tut Munka Boy….you must be losing your edge!

Needless to say we stayed there a while, continuing to drink the new Usuals.

I don’t really remember much after that. I dont even rememebr leaving the bar.

Appentley we even walked down to TOAST to see if that was open…

Quote From Munka’s email regarding this……

“I believe clivey should be awarded a gold star for ingenuity on Thursday after far to many trebles.

“We found ourselves outside a soon to be closing Toast the bouncers said no entry and we gave it up as a bad lot only not TBC I’ll get in just watch me he declared, So I’m thinking either he’s going to say he’s been having a fag and blag his way in or he’s seen the fire door open or something? but oh no not TBC he simply charged at the door staff full speed reminiscent of Vainikolo running at Super Salford City Reds back line, needless to say he bounced back of them like a cheque presented the day before pay day but it was a classic watch if nothing else! don’t give them the satisfaction !!!!!!”

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I woke up this morning wiith some kind of Burger on my bedside.

I must award this burger some special credit too though, as when i normally buy trophy food (Food purchased while Hootered, taken to your place of residence and left uneaten ready to be thrown away the next day) it doesn’t usually make it into my house. I normally just deposit in the bin uneaten on my way home. But this little rascal had been half eaten, so it did well.

Thing is, it’s 12 hours later now and i can still taste it……wish i couldn’t!

3 Years Older In One Weekend

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This weekend saw birthday celebrations for the 3 members of the BOAD.

GP (Chris Tague), T.B.C (Clive Cowin) and Number 2 (Lee Johnson)

We started the Party off on F.N.A (Friday Night Amnesia). A few drinks in and we decided to introduce the new “Usual” Drink for the BOAD.
In the past this had been a double vodka and red bull….but drinking so much red bull has its problems and a couple of BOAD members bodies had finally revolted against red bull so we decided to change it.

The new usual was to be a Treble Vodka with lemonade/coke.

Quote From Munka
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This is true BOAD logic
Both myself and the Waa have recently been forced to evacuate our internal cavities due to the devils brew.
The BOAD solution, dump the sugar stuff and add more vodka….brilliant think this might work !!!!!

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On the first round of the new usual, we saw a few members of the BOAD giving a shudder on their first sip…..
Like Sainsbury’s say….we could “taste the difference”

But three or four rounds into it everything had settled down and the usuals were slipping down a treat.

We continued along the usual bar crawl route and eventually ended back in BOAD HQ (mood bar Lancaster).

A recent addition to HQ is the roaming shot girls…they basically come up and pester you until you buy some of their cheap drink shots.
Now this girl must of asked us all twice if we wanted to try her shots, both times she was met with a polite “Fook Off”
God loves a Trier….So on her third attempt we caved….

The deal she was offering was something like 4 shots for a fiver…..being BOAD, this wasn’t good enough.
We put a new deal on the table….6 shots for a tenner (d’oh!!!)….to which she nearly ripped our fingers off trying to grab the money!

As the saying goes…”It ain’t easy (or cheap) being a BOAD….”

I think it was around this point that we lost a couple of the BOAD (GP and WAA??)

The new usuals really had kicked in now so I can’t really blog any more about F.N.A as I just can’t remember. ( as they say…Friday Night Amnesia – If you remember it, You weren’t there!)
The only other things I remember about F.N.A is that we went to the hustle Where one BOAD spent around 20 minutes dancing with a fatty (not me for a change!!) and then we went to the Lounge till 4 am.

So that was Friday night dealt with….one down, one to go
Saturday night arrived and we met at HQ around 8:30.

The attending BOAD’s did look a bit worse for wear and it was decided that we would stick to Doubles this night rather than the new usual trebles….

We had a few drinks and started off on the usual route of bars. GP and Eeeeelaine sneaked off after a leaving HQ…..Apparently it had something to do with someone being on top….but that’s probably left to you own imagination..

We did a few bars and met up with Number 2 in LA1….sadly TLS (The Lovely Stacey) was not working

A few more bars and we decided to do the second visit to HQ….unfortunately by the time we got there it had closed for the evening
It was also at this point that the previous nights merriments caught up with Munka, so he had to take a quick detour to the side of the road to get rid of the evenings drinks.

——Side Note——-
Txt next day from biff to Munka
“Have you recovered from renting your beer last night”

Reply From Munka to Biff
“Renting? Wasn’t there long enough, I’d call it a short stay”
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We made it to the Toot (Walkabout) and had a drink in there, then we headed for the Lounge (as #2 was out and isn’t allowed in the Hustle)
The strenuous exercise of vomiting earlier had drained Munka so he bid adieu.
This left Me, #2 and Richard…
Earlier in the week #2 and Richard had made a bet to see who would stay out the longest, so with this in mind we got to the lounge and had a few drinks.

#2 (or should I say #6.5 by now) was out in full effect…
A quick chat and a dance with a tidyish toot earlier in Bentleys had given him a taste for the women, and he was trying his best……in between annoying the DJ that is.

It got to somewhere around 3am and we decided to call it a night….Richard graciously called the bet between him and #2 a draw.

All I can say is thank fook birthdays only come once a year…..even if there are 3 in one weekend!

“I’m Paying The Price For Living Life At The Limit, He Lives In A Tent A Very Small Tent In The Country!”

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Firstly I will start with a couple of text messages I received over the weekend

Biff txt to Munka
Received Fri 30/5/08 pm
“ Hehe into BOWD country!, GP is out 2 night to cover your shift at Mood.â€

Munka txt to GP “ So how was P.D.F.N.A then?â€
Sent Sat 31/5/08 am

GP to Munka “Don’t really remember so it must have been ok!â€
Received Sat 31/5/08 am
24 hrs earlier

Friday 30th May 2008 a.k.a P.D.F.N.A
For this event I decided or rather Mrs. Munka decided there would be a new twist as F.N.A. was taken on the road into BOWD country i.e., Keswick! With Munka dropping out of the usual route GP stepped in to keep up BOAD representation in the homeland and support the local economy.

While Mrs. Munka packed the luxury items a tent, food, towels etc I set about getting the accentuals beer beer and err more beer! Now despite the encouragement and support of several BOAD the night before I was a little apprehensive about living the “good life†under the stars and as we passed through boarder patrol into BOWD country I was made even more nervous as the car was filled by a panic stricken sat nav yelling “Turn around when possible!†As we passed further into the wilderness (just past Kendal) A black spot shot past at light speed on the other side of the motorway, I can only surmise this was Big A heading back to the big smoke after a week with his lads!.

Any who move forward an hour or so and I found myself erecting a tent (Kew childish laughing) .I assumed Mrs. M would have planned everything with military precision, which in fact she had unfortunately it was the US military!
I took charge and borrowed a mallet of the cute girls camping on the other side of the field, strangely when I suggested pitching up next door to them Linz thought the ground looked uneven! Any who with the tent up it was time to head to the local for a well earned beverage and this is where all my fears were almost realised, it was a proper pub for “Local people†after about an hour of queuing (BOAD don’t queue ed?!) I was about to order a couple of drinks
“A half a larger and lime for the little woman my good man and a pint of your best for my good self†actually it was more like “Oh so your done serving every other fcuker in the county if it isn’t to much bother I’d like….â€

So the yokel grins at me (see early scenes deliverance, the hill have eyes, cabin fever etc) and say, “Do you have ID?â€
I nearly dropped there on the spot or at least nearly dropped him there on the spot, here I was miles from the nearest town with no ID facing the possibility of facing P.D.F.N.A. drinking coke DO’H! Fortunately we weren’t dealing with Mensa candidates here Mrs M showed her driving license and he seemed happy for me to consume the alcohol as long as I wasn’t buying it!, which was fine by me (cheap night) and disaster averted!

I can’t say I slept to well that night mainly due to sleeping on what felt like concrete (No biff I don’t need to borrow your air mattress do’h!) I was then woken at about 4am by what I can only assume are the country cousins of those two birds that are currently terrorising Hammer jebus they didn’t half make a racket but like MC I had no real solution to the problem. Following the example of hammer and #2 I took to the golf course Saturday afternoon and have to report a very embarrassing loss to Mrs. Munka if only I’d been able to get the ball through the windmill first go (Brocklebank !!!!!!) anyway it all worked in my favour as had the drinking the night before cos we’d agreed winner would pay for a steak dinner that night! Hehehe

So with BOWD country tamed I headed back to civilisation, I have to admit it was a really good weekend and I think a group trip should be planned for later in the summer.

On the drive home the following text came through and I realised that living off the land in the outback is a much easier life than living life at the city limits!

“ It’s daylight and I’ve just left the lounge, Mc’d’s for breaky the food of Kingsâ€

Biff txt to Munka – received 06:25 am 1/6/2008