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“Jebus And His Lawyer Are Coming Back!”

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So while Lancaster Uni Student Union were throwing another “Carnage” session around Lancaster’ historic city the BOAD /BOWD set out on their own “obliteration” campaign. With the Credit crunch in full flow Biff was using public transport to get from shameless to town and so Big A called the merchants for the first bar, (who said we never change the route?!) We all agreed on a pint of lager but in true Boad style we couldn’t simply drink the same brand so two becks, stella and kronenbourg’s later we moved onto the next bar!

Anywho about an hour later we arrive at HQ three usuals got ordered from the delightful Natalie and that’s when things started to get a bit out of hand! A swift move to Bentleys and the offer of free shots for every garyoke song murdered err sung! free shots are free shots so first the eels and then the doors get the unique boad stylings, novocaine might be good for the soul but some of the amassed audience looked like they were in pain during the performance!

So with a couple of freebie shots in the tank Biff decided to up the ante and arrived back at the table with a round of Wibbly Wobblies. A few more drinks later and another round of the shots arrives (WW2). With legs now well and truly lubricated we decided it was time to bust some moves in Hustle that’s pretty much where the memories fade needless to say trophy food was ordered paid for then left. All I know now is that residual valuations with a hangover are about as easy as catching water in a sieve! Still only 4hrs 10 mins 30 secs until P.D.F.N.A and that’s when the real drinking starts!

So far onboard Biff, Munka, Waa, GP/JP (Bowd) Pete t’meat ……. Bring it on !!!!

Just had following text from Big A What happened Last Night? Boy I should not have driven this morning!

If I Hadn’t Gone Out, I’d Have Stayed In…..

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So this week I managed to make it to Thursday before I got so bored and fed up that I was in need of a night out.

Poor turnout  from the BOAD and Whops this week….only Me, TBC and Big A managed to make it out.  I suppose thats one of the curses of being a singleton…..you have nobody to stay in and be bored with!

Anywho, we met up at BOAD HQ and started on the trebles straight away.  Then we hit Mint Bar where we had long island iced teas and shots ofGoldschläger (Cinnamon schnapps with flakes of gold leaf floating in it).

After we’d chinned those we set off to Bar Eleven where we introduced TBC to the not so pleasurable cocktail called “Vespa” (3 shots of Gin, 1 shot of Vodka and a dash of Angustura Bitters)

It’s around this point that things start to get a little fuzzy….

I know we went to “Last Orders” (Kill Me Now!!!) for a quick double…..

I’m pretty sure we went to HQ for a second visit and a second round of trebles…..

I’m almost certain we went to Bentleys and had a sing song on the karaoke…..

And no doubt we probably ended up in Hustle or Lounge, busting some moves…..

Those facts aside…..I still have no idea how, when I came to get my keys and cash out of my jeans this morning, I had managed to lose 1 of the back pockets and had managed to tear them with a good foot long rip down the back?!?!

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I just hope that it happened somewhere near the end of the night…..

 

Oh the joy’s of drinking BOAD style!

And oh yes….not forgetting the feeling you get when you look at your mobile phone the morning after a night out and see lots of “delivery reports”…..

I guess most people (not me) would be highly embarrassed realising that they had been pledging their undying love to somebody, or telling their boss just exactly what they think of them.

But then again…..most people aren’t BOAD….

 

Mean it ;-) x

Cocktails And Dreams Aka The BOAD And Whop Thursday Night Experience

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I think it was around Tuesday morning this week when I realised that the week was dragging…..So a night out was needed, And what better night than Thursday…..the “New Old New BOAD neet owt”

So a few emails to the rest of the BOAD and it was arranged…..it was on!

Wednesday came around and radio silence with our counter parts, the Whops was broken, and it goes without saying that the invite was promptly extended to them too.

Thursday must have been one of the longest recorded days in history. From the minute i woke up i was itching to go out, there’s nothing worse than clock watching at work all day, and when 5:30 eventually came around i was out of the door like a whippet, nearly taking down a group of trainees that were hovering nervously by the main door.

Now usually i do like to drive fast, but as my regular passenger LJ will confirm, if a night out is on the boards, the drive home is stepped up a gear…..it borders on dangerous.

Touching 90MPH on the back lanes in the dark can make the adrenaline kick in. I’m not saying that i have had to start putting plastic covers on the passenger seats but LJ now finds it easier just to grip the door handle, close his eyes and mumble a few words to the man upstairs.

Knowing that he can be a bit nervous on the Thursday drive home, it gives me an opportunity to play a few games, like “How close can i get to the hedges without actually writing my car off” and “How many seconds of air time can i get on THAT bump on the way home”

So we make it back to Shameless by the sea (Morecambe) in one piece and i realise that i’ve run out of a few essentials such as razors, pit spray etc. Turns out LJ was in the same boat. Apparently he had been to the local corner shop to get a can of emergency spray the night before, but it was that cheap that upon spraying it, you couldn’t tell if it was deodrant or a can of white spray paint.

So we stop off at Morrisons and spend 10 minutes trying to figure out just which razors we require….when did buying a razor become so fecking complicated, i dont care how many blades and moisturising strips it has got on it, and no…..I’m only wanting to shave my chin and not my nuts so i don’t really care how many angles it can twist to…..

Then we have a quick chat with one of the not so intellectual counter attendants and minutes seem to turn to hours as he explains the intricate details of how he can only use a disposable razor once before it starts cutting his face…..highly interesting stuff, but jog on mate, the clocks ticking here and theres beer to be drunk.

So we pay up and leave, and we agree to meet up in 40 minutes to make our way to town for the night out.

We make it through to Boad HQ and meet Muka, then i get a text from Big A “Where you guys at? I am in the mood to get fucked up big time” – so it sounds like the Big A is gonna be on a mission tonight!

So we polish off a couple of usuals each then head down towards the BOAD northern route for a couple of cocktails.

We have a round of Long island iced tea’s in Mint and then move onto Bar Eleven, recieving a text from the Whop’s on the way asking if we are still out tonight?

So I call them up to let them know where we are and to also take their drink orders so they can get straight on them when they walk in…..I’m not knocking the Whops drinking ability here…..Jesus, these girls can drink to near BOAD standards, but they are playing catch up afterall!  So i fill Uber Whop in with the details of where we are and take her cocktail order, she then passes the phone to Mini Whop who seems a little confused as to why i am asking her what she wants to drink.  It seems there had been some mis-communication between the whops and she hadn’t realised that they’d been roped into a night out with us.  So for her cocktail order she requests initially a pint of shandy, not a tradional cocktail but each to their own ;-)

A short time later and they turn up in the pub and we all settle in for a bit of banter and a catch up with what each other has been upto recently etc.

Lj is sat next to Mini Whop and after a few minutes we realise that he hasn’t actually met her before, LJ came along the first night that the BOAD met the Whop’s, but after that night he formed a habit of staying in on BOAD/Whop night out, so tonight was their first encounter.

I look at his face and can’t tell whether he is scared, bemused or just entertained…..Now don’t get me wrong, Mini Whop is a belting lass, she’s a top laugh and a real character….but as LJ doesnt know her he just doesn’t know how to take her.  Anyway, he’s on a cocktail called vespa, and as its the strongest one they sell in that bar, he soon adjusts to the situation.

I had a near gip incident as somehow the Whops had learnt of my achilles heel and mentioned a few keywords such as …..slugs and snail…..(Jebus…just typing those words and thinking about those ‘Orrible slimy little b*stards has made me feel nauseous again!)

A couple of rounds later its decided that its time to go and teach the town how to sing, i.e. its time to goto the karaoke bar.  But as we are passing Mint again on our way past, it would be rude not to pop in and have just 1 more cocktail……

So we eventually make it to the karaoke bar where we have several rounds and several attempts at singing.  There is some video evidence, but as certain people need to remain anonymous it will have to be kept for private viewing.

The night rolls on, the drink continues to flow and the memory starts to fade……think the last real memory i have is seeing the Whops off in a taxi…..Next thing i know my alarm is going off and its time for work.

After a steady drive to work at around 9:30, I make it to the canteen as I’m in desperate need of hydration, so i buy a can of pop and a strong coffee from the machine.

I’m not quite with it yet…it usually takes 2 or 3 coffees to bring me round on a good day, and that’s without the brass band thats playing in my head today.

I can tell i’m still a bit tipsy at this point…..

I know i have a can of pop and i know i have a coffee….i know i have to keep the coffee upright and as the can is unopened, it doesnt matter how i hold it……

I get things totally backwards….i concentrate on keeping the unopened can upright and promptly lower the coffee cup to my side, holding it like i should be holding the can, and empty it out on the floor…..

Several paper towels later and another visit to the coffee machine and i’m back on track.

Now to get to my office i have to walk through the open plan part of the building where LJ sits…..Well, where he should be sitting.  I notice his empty desk and start to think that he’s done well, he must still be half pissed but he must have made it in and into a meeting somewhere, but then i see that his coat etc isnt there.

As its around 10am now, i decide to give him a call to see if he’s still alive.

Ring Ring…voicemail…..

Ring Ring…voicemail again…..

Seconds later i get a text “On way”

At least i’m not the only one that’s suffering from the previous nights drinking.

As i write this blog, it is curently 3:45pm and the hangover is only just starting to clear…..just in time for tonights F.N.A session.

Not too sure how long i’ll last tonight though!  This “Having Fun” stuff sure is hard work sometimes!