Oh God No!

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This week i found myself in Kendal, watching my lady perform with her vocal talents.

As we were walking out of the venue for a MacDonalds break we were confronted by a smart suited individual.

His polite manner and warm smile seemed to be way out of place hanging around the entrance/exit to Bootleggers, a local music pub.

As we passed him he greeted us and asked if we could spare a minute to hear a very important message about faith and a saviour.

I’d already clicked that these were mormons (LJ’s lot!)  and had already started to prepare an array or retorts to get rid of them quickly.

He asked “Do you know about Jesus Christ?”

My reply….”Of course I do……he’s Gordon Bennet’s nephew isn’t he?”

His reply “Do you not believe in god?”

My reply “No, I don’t put much weight in fiction, I much prefer solid facts such as a scientific view of how the earth was created.”

He must have been a fledgling missionary as he started to falter and stutter a little here….way way before I thought he would have done (shame really as i had a ton of material to fire at him)

He asked me again “Do you believe in Jesus Christ?”

My answer “Sorry…but how can you ask me that whilst keeping a straight face? You’re asking me if I believe that some cosmic jewish zombie can make me live forever if I symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that I accept him as my master, so he can remove an evil force from my soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat an apple from a magical tree”

(He was done for at this point….It’s not sport continuing after a fatal shot)

He picked his jaw up from the floor and asked….”Well….do you know anybody that wants to believe in God?……?”

I said “Jog on mate….that’s your job  isn’t it?”

I left him going through his papers and notes trying to find a reply…..think he’s still there now……

Oh well…



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