Some Drink To Remember…..Some Drink To Forget…..

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Very poor turnout from the BOAD last night.  Everybody is saving it for F.N.A (Friday Night Amnesia) I guess?

Last night was one of the biggest students nights of the year.  Carnge UK had organised a massive pub crawl around the bars in Lancaster for the students, so we thought we’d go out and see what was what. (Not that we really need any excuse to go out other than “because we can”)

As usual we started in BOAD HQ. Last saturday night we were in HQ drinking the usuals (Treble vodka and lemonade) when it was decided that the particualr brand of vodka they serve in there was actually not very nice. I’m pretty sure they buy it in bulk from the local DIY superstore. It was so bad, that after drinking 3 or 4 rounds, I actually had to go home around 11pm feeling more than a little ropey. Hence a motion to stop drinking that poison was elected and carried.

So last night we moved onto the new new usual, double Smirnoff and lemonade. It was as Sainsbury’s say…you can taste the difference.

A couple of rounds of them and a quick go on the quiz machine and we were off to the next bar. As we knew the pub crawl was starting at the top of town, we headed to LA1 for a quick nosey (and also a quick go on the dyson hand driers…they’re fab!). As we turned the corner we could see the massive queues forming outside the Lounge, 100′s of them were out.  A quick drink in LA1 and we were off again.  As we were walking, LJ spotted his Ex walk past and he saw she was heading towards Bentleys, which was going to be our next bar. So a quick diversion was called for.

We decided to go to the Irish bar in the middle of town.  Not a particular favourite of mine, but as LJ was dodging the Ex it made sense to get out of the way.

Anyway, we made it to the boozer and i looked through the door…..there was literally nobody in there apart from the bar staff, so we took off back to HQ for another quick new new usual and to plan where else we were going to visit.

Next on the list was Walkabout, we finished our fags and got in the rapidly forming Queue, only to be told by the bouncer that it was “Carnage Only” tonight…..!  WHAT….?

Turns out that Carnage had paid a large wedge of cash to all the best bars in town to ensure that only the paying pub crawlers gained entry.  That explained why they were all wearing those shitty printed t-shirts then!

Realising that most of the places wouldn’t let us in, we decided that LJ would have to face his demons, so off to Bentleys it was.

We got to the bar and were ready to place our order.  Its fair to say that we’d had 1 or 2 drinks by now.

So I decided to play one of my favourite games  (not “The Animal Game” this time)

It’s called the “What Game” – The rules are pretty simple.  Engage somebody in conversation and then see how long you can carry the conversation on, only saying the word “What?”

Previously, my personnal best was 4, that may seem quite a low number, but it is a pretty tough game to score highly in……in fact you usually get told to feck off or looked at like your a stamp licker after around  2 or 3!

Anyway…..I smashed my record with a new all time high score of 8!!!.

The conversation with the barman went something like…..

-2 Large Vodkas and Lemonade please
-Did you say you want doubles?
-Do you want double Vodkas?
-Doubles….Do you want double Vodkas?
-Do…You…Want …Double…Vodkas?
-Ah Forget it, you’re getting Doubles now….do you want some shots too?
-Shots……Do you want a couple of shots too?
-(A quick frown, a head shake and a funny look later)…..Sambuca or special ones?
-Look…..just tell me what you want to drink!
-Ahh feck ye…..
-2 Large vodkas and lemonade please….


Anyway, we got the drinks and I decided to have a shot of 57%  Wood’s rum.  This stuff really is lethal, it’s the main ingredient in a shot cocktail called a wibbly wobbly.

When we were first introduced to this lethal cocktail, the bar manager that served us told us after you drink it, you have 15 minutes before it hits you….then you’ll be in trouble.

Back then we Doubted his word, chinned them, chinned another and then promptly became leathered exactly 15 minutes later…..It really was uncanny, you could set your watch by it.

Like i said…..Not wanting to mess around i decided to have the rum on its own. knowing the 15 minute rule that applied to the cocktail, i gauged it to be around 3 minutes after chinning the shot that it would really hit you.   Oh how wrong i was…..

I eyed the glass up, took a deep breath, swallowed the drink in one and then it hit me…..almost instantly.

I had the full works…..Bright red face, dribbling mouth, watering eyes, lack of ability to talk, throat and stomach on fire etc etc….you get the picture!

On seeing the state i had become, LJ, being a BOAD did what any other BOAD’s duty would have been…..”How was it mate? you want another one?”

I looked at him and i think he could see what the answer was…..

“Do I feck!  that bastard nearly killed me, if i have another one now i’ll be in the emergency room!”

5 mins later i had recovered enough to have a sambuca shot cocktail and all was well with the world again.


Things get a little hazy after that?  I rememebr we visited the Hustle Bar, this was also on the carnage route, so wasn’t meant to be open to the public, but a quick word with the bouncer and we were in…..


BOAD timing struck again…as we’d ordered our drink, the rest of the occupants had decided it was time for the next bar, so it quickly became pretty vacant (much like our faces)  No idea what we did or where we went after that?  Must have got food at some point as all I have been able to taste all day is fecking Garlic!


I woke up this morning and was still feeling the effects of the previous nights rum fuelled adventures, so i decided to pop to Mikky D’s on the way in to grab a Laaaaarrrgggggeeee coffee and a dead pig sandwich.


Really was hard work…..

I knew what i was ordering but i was having real trouble making my mouth work.

Got to the drive through window and all I could manage was “koo I ha muufin pleeeeeese”

Second try…..”Sausage brekky poo please flower….”

Getting closer…..Nearly there…..

Third time “Sausage butt butt with larrrrrrrrge coffee please.


BINGO! Ate it like i was a starving dog! must have been about 4 bites and it was gone!


Talking with the boys on t’email today and it looks like we on for an early start for F.N.A tonight…..

The Waa wants the start at 6:45……I suppose it would be rude to let him down!


No doubt there will be a report on here about what occurs and some pictures on the gallery pages (when I eventually pull my finger out and upload the backlog)

There is also mention of a night out on saturday too….Looks like I’m gonna be going for the hat trick again then!


F.N.A……say it, do it, mean it!


ps – be sure to check out the new (stolen) thoughts section on the main website

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